The Dog Days of Winter

I know that the natto thing has been done to death in the Aomori blogsphere but I had a bit of an olfactory revelation yesterday that I couldn’t resist sharing with all of you. For those who don’t already know, natto is fermented soybeans; a sticky, smelly, slimy dish that is allegedly one of the healthiest foods you can eat (and perhaps one reason why Japan has such an amazingly long-lived population). Mere months ago, I laughed at everyone’s tales of natto woe, as my school district was merciful enough to exclude it from the menu. Well, the karma police must not have a sense of humor since natto is now making weekly appearances on our menu, much to my chagrin.

The first time I was served natto as a part of kyushoku, I was firm in my resolve to eat it. Every one of the other teachers was eating it, why shouldn’t I be able to also? Well, I opened up the sealed styrofoam pack (similar to the one seen above) and started mixing in the honey-like sauce. Then I began to stir the natto in large, circular arcs, like the others were doing (this prevents the “strings” from getting all over the place). Finally, I brought it up to my mouth to eat it. While I succeeded at getting a small quantity of the stuff into my mouth, I had also allowed the smell of the natto to enter my nostrils. From there, it crept down my nasal passage and into the back of my throat where it started pummeling my gag reflex. While I was able to swallow that one mouthful, the ammonia-like smell was far too overpowering for me to dare take another bite. The natto was trying it’s best to tell my body that it was not a substance suitable for ingestion.

When a styrofoam box of natto appeared on my tray at Momoishi Middle School yesterday, I knew better than to open Pandora’s box. Trying my best to ward off the smell that surrounded me, I finished the rest of my lunch while leaving the natto untouched. And that’s when it hit me. I used to have a pair of so-called “aquasocks” as a child, does anyone remember those? They were basically nylon and rubber shoes with holes in them for water to drain out and could allegedly be worn in water and on dry land. I remember taking them for a few strolls in and along Lake Michigan but I never thought to rinse them out with clean water afterwards. Well, after a few weeks of sitting around in the garage, they started to emit a sharp, pungent odor and had to be disposed of. In all honesty, I probably would have forgotten all about those aquasocks if I hadn’t been revisited by the same smell yesterday; as you can guess, it was the natto.

“Don’t like natto, huh?” a younger teacher in a suit asked when he noticed I hadn’t eaten it. “No, I’m sorry, I can’t eat it,” I replied. He laughed. “How about sashimi? Sushi?” “Yes, I like sushi and sashimi very much,” I told him. “How about dog?” he inquired. “Well, I haven’t eaten that yet!” I exclaimed and let out a hearty laugh. When I looked up to meet his gaze, he was staring back at me with a look of complete seriousness. “Well, if you ever want to try it,” he said, “there’s a good place on the other side of town”.