Will Somebody Please Think of the Children?

Many of you will probably remember Jamie Patterson's infamous Kodomo Biru taste test. For those of you who don't, Kodomo Biru ("kids beer") is a non-alcholic children's beverage designed to mimic the appearance of beer. The beverage was introduced earlier this year and was apparently a rousing success. So, it should come as no surprise that the first wave of imitators has already arrived.

I was strolling through the supermarket a few days ago when something caught my eye. It was a bottle of so-called Kodomo no Nomimono ("kid's drink"), so I deposited it in my cart out of pure curiosity. My first thought was that Kodomo Biru had simply changed its name but a little research revealed that Kodomo no Nomimono is in fact, produced by an entirely different company (that seems to specialize mostly in tea). Well, I felt that this new beverage deserved the same consideration as Kodomo Biru, so I decided to document my experience.

The first thing I noticed, is that Kodomo no Nomimono has far less head than Kodomo Biru, at least from what I saw on Jamie's site. In this sense, it seemed more akin to soda than beer. The smell was pretty close to that of apple juice, so I had similar expectations in terms of taste. Sure enough, it tasted apple juice...mixed with ginger ale and the short-lived Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum Soda (props to anyone who actually remembers what that tasted like). So, in a word, terrible. I haven't actually tried Kodomo Biru but I can't imagine that it's any worse than this stuff.

One area where Kodomo Biru definitely has the edge, though, is marketing. Above you'll see the Kodomo no Nomimono bottle label, featuring the beverage's slogan "Even kids can join the toast!" Humorous as that may be, it's nothing compared to Kodomo Biru's utterly brilliant ad campaign. For those of you who don't read Japanese, both ads feature the same text: after the initial scene, it reads "For times like these...Kodomo Biru!" At the end, the beverage's slogan appears: "Even children cannot make it through life without a drink". Kanpai!