Jack and the e-stalk
Move over Jamie Patterson. I'm sure you must feel like a big man knowing that you're the only internet superstar in Aomori prominent enough to inspire stalker-like behavior among your fans. I can just see you, strutting down the streets of Noheji, waving to the passing schoolgirls and adoring obaasans alike. You smug bastard. Well folks, today I too ascend to the rank of Aomori internet celebrity, thanks to the following stalker-like email:
< ali_the_riot_girl@XXX > to me
More options 8:44 am (9 hours ago)
hi. my name is Alisha.
i found your blog when i searched the word "aomori shimoda mall".
i'm from tokyo, and i'm staying at my friends house in misawa now.
my friend suggested me to go to the mall in shimoda, but i don't know how to get there from here. i don't know where i am located actually. i'm at higashioka misawa 3chome. do you know how far it is from my place?
i'm so bored!!!! my friend will not be home till 10:30pm, and i have nothing to do. even the Lawsons, it takes 15-20walk for me to get there.
will you tell me how to get to shimoda mall?
and is it fun place?
or do you know any other nice place to visit?
actually, i don't have my car here, so i can't go further just by myself.
if you don't mind, will you tell me if there is something fun here?
LOVE,
Alisha
While the actual content of this email is somewhat irrelevant, I would like to draw your attention to the closing signature. That's right: LOVE. While I may love the creator of the original hamster dance as much as the next guy, I can't say that I've ever been inspired to such dizzying heights by a mere blogger (BTW, John Darnielle is more than a blogger, so he doesn't count). In light of these recent events, I urge all of my fellow bloggers to take the following stalking questionnaire. You may think that you're not at risk because you're not a real celebrity (notice the subtle reference to bloggers at the end). You would be wrong, my friend.
12 Comments:
Your posts sure are getting link-tastic. Focus group surveys have revealed that no one clicks the links in my blog, i'm sure you'll have better luck though.
I think you should give her directions though.
I link only to fulfill my own primal linking urges
additionally, just about the only directions that i'm qualified to give are from my apartment to my office down the block and even then, it's a little iffy
Please have my babees!
mehan i wanna put mehand on you at shimoda mall. we can eat it there and all will be great time.
touch it.
LOL
So does this mean you're as faithful as I hoped you would be?
Let's enjoying Shimoda mall together!
Let's, Leo. Lets.
i am enjoying there bery much. best time in the pleasant
it's true, jusco doesn't disappoint
she's very careful to keep reminding you that she's visiting a FRIEND.
Welcome to the exciting and sometimes unsettling world of Internet fame Mehan. You joke now, but as number of adoring sycophants grows the more you will learn to appreciate them, and eventually depend on them for boosting your self-esteem. Next thing you know you'll be a smug bastard just like me. By the way, I don't strut down the street waving at the schoolgirls and obaasans... I drive down the street and wave my hand out the window like the Queen or the Pope.
you mean you don't have someone else drive you so that you can extend your single, white-gloved hand out of the back window?
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